I Can Only Imagine

As I've shared several times, Matthew's favorite song was "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe, which we also had portions put on his gravestone. As I read Ann's blog, a Holy Experience, it made me "only imagine" again. She talked about her little infant girl who gave her very first smile, and the wonder and awe of experiencing that first communion with her, and sharing the world of joy with her little girl. Ann not only held on to the moment, but she wrote about it so beautifully, to share with us.

Do we hold on to the precious firsts that we go through? I will never forget the one and only homebirth I had, was with our daughter, Jessica. It was a special birth. Shortly after Jessica was born, Norm held her up, with our midwife still there, and gave her back to the Lord. Little did we know that within the next week we'd find out how delicate her life will be, and at 13 months of age, she had two open heart surgeries and a 10 week ICU stay. But holding on to moments - I will never forget the preciousness of all our children quietly getting up in the morning, to enter our bedroom, to see a new life. It was not the hyperactiveness of a birthday morning, but a hush of awe, as we stared at this new little one. We all shared it together.

Since our stillborn daughter's death, and now especially since Matthew's death, it makes me think more of heaven. In reading Ann's post on her daugther's first smile, it makes me "only imagine" of what it will be like when we see the first glimpse of Jesus - His smile, His gloriousness, His majesty, His tenderheartedness, and HIM. What will it be like? Will we linger in a frozen state like Ann did to watch her daughter's first smile, or will we immediately drop to the ground to worship at His feet? Will we hear the rush of angel's wings around us, or will we hear their endless praises? Will I hear the giggle of a little girl I only held for a few short hours, or the voice of a young man echo the words of Jesus, "welcome home".

I can only imagine . . . and that's just the first moments of heaven.