Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Update . . .

This past week we have had more talks about Matthew's death as a family than we have in awhile, mainly because of the media coverage on it. We talk individually to the kids often, and Norm & I talk about it almost every day, but this past week brought more things out in the open, and even going over the series of events the day of his death. There was one morning I asked Heidi (almost 14), to take a shower because her hair was looking oily. She did not respond, so I told her to. This time she snapped at me, "I don't like to take showers." When the chaoticness broke out that morning finding Matthew, she was taking a shower upstairs. All she could hear was the screams. She quickly got out of the shower & dressed, and tried to help open the locked door Matthew was in. So the other day, when she broke down, and told us how hard showers are, which actually we had discussed before and told her to take the radio or CD in the bathroom, or have her twin sister sit in there and talk to her. Then she broke down especially hard, and told us that just seeing the round door knobs all around the house are a continual reminder of that morning, and the locked door, and how she hates door knobs and HATES locked doors and makes her very panicy when she finds a door locked, worrying someone else might get hurt. She just sobbed and sobbed. Our hearts broke for her pain. We know Jayson & Benjamin went through so much visual in finding Matthew, but the others have things in their minds that trigger the pain and catch our breath. Since talking to her in detail, she seems a little more like herself, and relieved too, that we understand. We are going to change some of the door knobs on various doors, but she knows too door knobs are everywhere that she will have to face for the rest of her life. But she specifically said she likes the "wavy" kind of door knobs.
It's still hard with family celebrations and birthdays. It was one of my sister-in-laws 40th birthday on Friday and there was a surprise party for her. Norm & I went back and forth about going, but it's just hard when the whole family is together, yet, it's not. It's still a big hurdle to get over. We decided to stay home with the kids, which we generally do now on Friday nights instead of before when Norm & I had our date night. But, we had a bummer too, Friday afternoon, while Norm was getting a lawn tractor for a repair, and a stone hit the back window and shattered it. Norm was SO bummed. We just have the limited PLPD for auto insurance, so right now it's a thick plastic window, until we find one in a junk yard! Pray we can find one soon. And, we are suppose to rejoice in everything, and we are thankful none of the younger children went along to ride with Norm, as the back carseat and seat were covered with glass.
Today at church Stephen's graduation party was announced during the service, which is in a few weeks. It was so nice, that two ladies came up to us afterwards, wanting to help. One offered to make a cake, asked what Stephen liked, and when finding out he is into automotive repair and likes Nascar, she said she had the perfect idea and was excited about it! Her daughter who is close to Norm's and my age, said she'd wants to do the serving and taking care of the kitchen during the party, and will help with decorations too. It's just so nice, and I think too, because people want to be a part of the REJOICING with our family. Several in Norm's family too have offered to help with desserts, which will be so great. It's sure helps taking some of the stress off of me too. Now pray for a COOL day . . . low 80's if you want to be specific. :)
Norm has gotten quite a few repair jobs this past week, which we are very thankful for. He is working on an advertising flier that will go out in our local paper in a week or so, and are hopeful this helps bring in more business. Our puppy business is the slowest it's been, in the 10 years we have been doing this. We sold one pup yesterday, and don't have any now, but did get a call for 13 puppies that should be ready to go in a week that are lab/St. Bernard mix! One small litter before would help even more!
Thanks again for the many nice notes lately. It's been great "pick-me-ups." Your prayers are what are making us make it through.


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