Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Saturday, April 16, 2005

18 Weeks - LIFE

It was another one of those up and down days that anything could catch us off guard. Norm & I both had one of those days and had to be encouraging to each other to think of all we have and LIFE - 9 children so dependant on us yet, for leadership, love, and encouragement. LIFE - that we see coming alive after our long Michigan winter. We talked about really looking for LIFE - to brighten things up - yet not forgetting - how could we?

The day started out going to meet with Norm's uncle to pick out the gravestone - color, size, etc. I think the more emotional time for both of us was before - once again the anticipation that we never imagined having to pick out another gravestone for one of our children. We finalized it with a slanted gravestone in an Indiana Red color - flecks of grays and reds. Red was Matthew's favorite color. Jayson was one that went with us, and really wanted to be apart of it, and agreed whole heartedly which one was the "right one". Again it tugs at my heart that one of my children also has to go through this pain of being a part of choosing a gravestone for a brother.

Our puppy business was busy today, with calls and a couple of sales, so we are thankful for that. Jayson also does so well with this, and helps greatly with easing some of the continual non-stop busyness that can happen with a home business. Norm & I got out later, did some grocery shopping and ran into a neighbor that did not know about Matthew and two others that did know and greeted us with hugs and tears. So often people wonder what to say or do when there's a deep pain going on in someone else's life, and I can tell you from our experience, that "just a hug" or "we care" or "we continue to pray" - though short words, means a lot to know someone still remembers. The avoiding hurts more. The verse to "rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep" - both can take place in a moments time.

Tonight, though, we all had a rush of "that day" as police sirens screamed down our road. We live in the country and rarely do we hear sirens. The last time was December 11th. Tonight it sucked the breath out of us, as we saw numerous ones go by. We don't know what happened. I prayed another family is not going through the same pain. We didn't see an ambulance, so prayfully, that is good. But it bothered all the children, even Katie (almost 4). And then I am reminded of:

" . . . whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

It's so easy to let our minds wander. Before Jayson went to bed I asked him how he was doing, especially after the sirens, and he surprised me with, "I don't understand why we get so sad, when Matthew just couldn't have it any better, and this part of our lives is nothing compared to FOREVER in heaven."


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