"PLEASE SAY THEIR NAMES"

This was sent to me today . . . and want to share.

Although I found this copy on the http://www.silentvictims.org/ web site, I first saw this written in CTF Newsletter. This should be read by every friend/family member/clergy of anyone who has lost a child (from any cause) in hopes that those closest to us (those in the past whom we always considered our first line of "support") might come to understand. Alma "Troy's Mom"

"PLEASE SAY THEIR NAMES"

The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how we're doing. Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Lives slip from frequent recall. There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. Still look. Still ask. Still listen. Thank God for them. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent. But for us the play will never
end. The effects on us are timeless. What can be said, you ask? Please say "their names" to us. Love does not die.

Their names are written on our lives. The sound of their voices replay within our minds. You may feel they are dead. We feel they are of the dead and still they live. They ghost-walk our souls, beckoning in future welcome.
You say, "They were our children"; we say, "They are". Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again.

It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us. What they are in spirit stirs within us always. They were of our past but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future. Please understand we cannot forget. We would not if we could. We know that you cannot know, yesterday we were like you. Understand that we dwell in both flesh and spirit. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with them in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost, you cannot feel. What we have gained you may not see. Please say "their names" for they are alive.

We will meet them again, although in many ways we've never parted. Their spirits play light songs, appear in sunrises and sunsets. They are real and shadow, they were and they are. Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again. They are our children and we love them as we always did. More each day.

PLEASE, SAY THEIR NAMES

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I am doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine."
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

By Elizabeth Dent