Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Saturday, April 30, 2005

20 weeks - Signs of Life

"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God."
Psalm 42:1

It was a day of seeing God's caring hand in the "small" things of our lives today. A local coffee shoppe that we like to go to was having an anniversary "kid's day" which they do every year. They usually have a "smoke house" which is a small mobile type home kids can go through and learn about fires and how to crawl along the floor when fake smoke goes through it. They usually have an ambulance there and the kids can go in it and see the various parts of it, how to give CPR, and hear the siren. The kids were looking forward to it (actually the older two did not want to go, more being "too old" for it). Norm and I were not looking forward to seeing the local ambulance. It just brings those dreaded minutes back. Norm especially was not going to go, but I was able to talk him into it. Well, the ambulance was not there as usual and we were thankful and relieved, and had an enjoyable time out with the children. The little ones liked the little talking robotic fire hydrant.

Later Norm & I made a quick "quiet" run and as we came out of the store, there was "that ambulance". It just seemed strange that we did not see it earlier, and here it was just outside the door, and had to walk right by it. Such memories from that day. We talked, had some tears (again) and decided to stop at the cemetery on the way home. We don't do this often, but we have to set some cement there soon for the gravestone to be on, so we thought while we were thinking of it, we'd stop. Seeing that dry dirt, no grass yet, next to Angela's gravestone, of course, brings that awful sting back. We held each other's hands tight as we walked up to the gravesite. And then, we saw, fresh, deer tracks across his grave. Matthew loved finding the deer tracks in the woods. He loved being outdoors. Then by Angela's gravestone I noticed some soft gray fur. I moved some of it and it just blew away. I noticed some more by the corner of her gravestone, and then realized I saw a little bunny's ears just underneath. I didn't touch it. It looked like it's eyes were already open. We could only see one. But it just seemed to touch both Norm and I. LIFE

As we were going back to our car, Norm looked back, past the cemetery and told me too look. We saw two deer run in the distance. It was just such a neat, calm, consoling sight - seeing God's creation - at the right time - signs of life - signs of His gifts for us - His way of saying "You CAN find me - I am here".

Psalm 42

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food
day and night, while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

These things I remember as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs His love,
at night His song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God.


Blogger Jeff H said...


Thanks, again, for a great reminder, and a surely painful glimpse into your heartbreak.

Yet we know, though too oft we forget--Our God Reigns!!!

5/01/2005 12:39 PM  
Blogger JodiR said...

Praise Him!

God is good, and everything He does is good. Psalm 119:68

You're in my prayers.

5/02/2005 1:51 PM  
Anonymous Ello said...

I've been praying for you!

I'm so glad God has beautiful ways to comfort people :)

5/02/2005 1:55 PM  

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