Name:
Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Monday, July 11, 2005

7 Months - Matthew Moments

It's hard to believe today is 7 months since Matthew's death. I think we are "breathing easier" and are having more tearless days that tearful days. Oh, there's probably not a few hours that pass, that something does not trigger a memory. Norm has been doing some thorough cleaning in our garage and getting his things more organized with tools and his small engine repair stuff. It's slowed down some with this, so he is catching up with the clean-up. He came across several things he knows that the last person that touched it, would've been Matthew. Matthew like to do wood carving and came across some of his tools for this, and then some of his hunting items. So, the lump comes back.

Last night we had some friends over that we get together with almost on a weekly basis. Their one son is now working where Matthew did, and is tall like him. After they left, Heather (twin, 13) broke down, saying she just missed seeing Matthew & Landon playing around together, doing arm wrestles and playing chess. She said Landon reminds her of Matthew. She sobbed. It was one of our "Matthew Moments" as we call them. Good memories. Missing memories.

I am planning a belated graduation party for Stephen for next month. We needed a little more time before "partying". I'd given most of the invitations out to relatives on the 4th and then found out yesterdayat church, that there's a father/son canoe retreat being planned for the same weekend. Sighhhh . . . so we are having to change the date to the following weekend. Thankfully, it was just the relatives I had given to, and had not sent any out to other friends, but having to redo stuff, when I was actually not procrastinating for a change!

Stephen is enjoying is job. It keeps him busy. It was kind of neat last night. He went early to the evening church service all on his own to find out information on helping out in Vacation Bible School (which will be evenings at our church). It's such a change for him, but I see the growth and interest in him for Spiritual things. He's not a public person at all, and so it's neat to see him want to get involved this way without any pushing from us. He's "18" now, but still is very good about calling during his lunch every day, calling when he will be late, asking permission to go places, and for the most part stays home weekends to be with the family. Even after him going to a public school technical automotive class, his heart is still with his family and Christian friends, and just neat to see how he has stayed strong. He's still very committed to courtship and has been very open in talking to us about a future relationship, but not "looking" for it at this time.

My one arm/hand is almost alseep with a sleeping baby laying on my arm. Thanks for the prayers. We're making it, one day at at time - not of our own strength but God's grace and mercy and the prayers of many.