Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Funnel Cloud . . .

I've been thinking of Ann's recent post, Being Still. I've had to be still - not write much lately, because my heart has been so overhwelmed with a lot of hurts, confussion, dissapointments in expectations and just the heavy burden of the last 8 1/2 months. Then, a few days ago, I read this from Holy Experience:

Be still and know that I am God.

. . .The black funnel cloud may touch down, I may be sucked up in the crushing swirl of it all…my world may be blown into a million little pieces…I may need my own storm survey crew….but regardless of the mangled mess of my days, there can be peace in my perspective, stillness in my soul, quiet beauty in my movements.

For stillness can be found not only in the eye of the storm….but even in its wake. . .

The past few days, including Stephen's graduation, felt liked we got sucked up in that black funnel cloud. Stephen had a great party and so many came and were very generous with him. The people of our church were wonderful, caring and very giving. Several ladies pretty much took over and did so much work in preparing and decorating. I made tons of desserts - but so did others and so we took the desserts to another graduation party of one of Stephen's friends on Saturday and then a church fellowship after our evening service and we STILL have leftovers. I don't need all the sweets in our house! But our hearts remain heavy as not all understand the heavy burden we carry, that our children are still hurting so much, and even new things coming up that they are dealing with and that we may not be back to normal, and the wound has not closed.

Our neighbors told us just a few days ago they are moving to Florida, and the golf course our kids have worked at and played at almost on a daily basis may close or at least will be under new ownership. They put their 2 loved dogs and cat to sleep and several of our children were in tears. One of our children just wept with all the changes going on in their lives. It's so hard for them to understand. Shortly after this they felt in the middle of a situation and were again so distraught.

We still have in the back of our minds of moving. It would truly have to be the hand of God for this to fall into place - selling our house for enough to buy another debt free, with being self-employed. It would still have to be a ways off too, with having remodeling that has been started to be finished, but it's something we talk about, and others have even recently brought this up to us in consideration of our healing. Please pray about this. The door would have to be wide open for it to all happen.

Yesterday Stephen went to work, and came home two hours later with his toolbox. He found out, that his position has just been a "summer job" & wanted someone with more automotive certifications, which he did not know before hand. The kid has been through so much and this was quite a blow to him. They said he did a great job, and would give him a very good reference, but sent him on. Stephen changed his school schedule so much to accomodate his hours at work, so he was a little down with it, but now, 24 hours later, is trying to catch up with some things, including many "thank you" notes! :) God must have something better planned.

So, it's been a heavy time again. Norm was very tearful through the service on Sunday. His heart aches in so many ways. It's been a trying time for us again . . . just when we think we make some great strides ahead, and then - there's that pit - and so we are climbing out again. We spent some time with close friends yesterday and we are again moving ahead. I am going through a lot of the kids schooling things. We are starting out slow. We were also blessed with about 200 Christian music CD's that we are weeding through. It's been nice to have some new music for encouragement right now.

Thank you for the many many e-mails we received in the last few days. We appreciate your continued prayers.


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