Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Saturday, January 15, 2005

5 weeks ...

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee:
when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
Isaiah 43:2

We got through another Saturday and we all agreed it was our "best" Saturday since Matthew's accident. Before bedtime, Jayson (15) even told me he thinks now we will be "ok". That was a tremendous step for him, because he is dealing so much with what happened and being apart of trying to save Matthew. I gave him a big hug and told him that God has something big in store for him to allow him to go through all this at such a young age, and if he does not become angry or bitter, God can really use him - maybe to help others who go through such trials. He told me that he had been thinking of that, and maybe God will even have him go into the ministry. That surprised me to hear him say that so seriously. He did end it though, that he has a hard time studying, so he is not sure what capacity of ministry. But he is thinking, and allowing God to work in Him. This is a praise!

In going through all this, my deepest pain besides losing Matthew has been seeing the pain in my children. Oh, they are so tender at the ages they are, and I just pray and pray that this will not harm them but that they will grow and become stronger because of it. A few days ago Benjamin (11) asked how "good" will come out of this. (Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. ). For a little guy, that was such a big question, but again, we can see how God is stirring their hearts. We talked about how if just one person comes to know the Lord because of Matthew's death, that is worth it for eternity. We also talked about people reading our webpage, and it might show parents to talk to their children and prevent another tragic death like Matthew's. Yes, good can come out of this, though we might not see or understand it for quite some time.

After this discussion we got a very nice card and letter from a couple from our church who have young children, and told us that their 4 year old daughter asked a lot of questions after being at Matthew's funeral visitation and prayed and asked Jesus to be in her life. The angels rejoiced! I hope Matthew knows too!

Yesterday I had two friends come to visit from out of state. One was my Sunday School teacher from my teen years who came from Milwaukee. What a delight that was, and encouragement. Then another friend who moved to Tennessee almost a year ago, came home to meet her first grandchild, and came to visit me. We have been good friends for many years, and so we were able to talk more about Matthew and I shared our scrapbook of Matthew with her. I am so thankful for caring, reaching out friends.

Norm worked on the bathroom more today. It's such a big project as wires have to be moved, heat ducts & water lines. He has it more planned out now where things are going to go. He is very patient with this kind of thing. The boys are still all sleeping upstairs. In someways this has been very good, as we all go to bed at the same time, instead of the boys going downstairs and goofing around for an hour plus and then going to sleep. We have just had a lot more family time together til "lights out" and sharing time. More good.

We got all the kids out today as a family which was good for them and I think they enjoyed getting out. We went to one of our favorite stores - GW Boutique (Good Will) :) Every so often though one of the kids would pick up something and say "Matthew would have loved this!" As I see we are moving forward, he is not far from our hearts and thoughts.

So, we got through another day - a good day, which we are thankful for. We know there will certainly be the ups and downs. Monday we are going to try to get back into the full swing of school. We have only done a little bit since Matthew's death, but we need to get more of a schedule going. Monday's were always the days I worked specifically on Stephen and Matthew's work - caught up with their corrections, gave new assignments and wrote things down in my planning book. This will be different. I still have our chore schedule to change - still has Matthew's name on it. It's just been hard to make some of these "official changes" in taking his name out of things, but we will get there.

Thank you for your continued prayers, e-mails and comments here. I do read them all, and it means so much to know so many are praying. You continue to uplift us - THANK YOU.



Blogger Luke's Mom said...

Hi Loni & Norm and family,

I just wanted to let you know that a day has not passed by since I heard about Matthew's death that I have not prayed for your family. In fact on Christmas eve we were having a hard night with our little Luke, who had an accident in August, and I know that Lord chose that night to keep me up most of the night because I prayed for your family almost all night long. I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but I know that God will not stop giving you the peace and comfort that you so desperately need right now, today! I have learned through our last months of our biggest trial in our lives that He is faithful and just and does not ever leave us for a single second. My pray for you each night is that the Lord will give you sweet sleep, I know how precious a full nights sleep is and as I'm awake with Luke or our new little one Lily, God continues to bring you to my mind to pray for you.
Thank you for keeping us posted on how to pray and I know that everytime I think about cheesecake or eat a bite of one I will say a quick prayer for your family.

Love in Christ,
Sue Searles (Luke's Mommy)

1/16/2005 7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanted to post here too. It is amazing to me as I see Sue posted (Luke's mom) and how cyberspace connects us all together and we can lift one another up in prayer.
I am so happy to hear that all of you were able to get out and do something. It is great too, about Jayson. It is easier to pray for specifics when you share... and I appreciate that so much. I also think it is so good for all of you to share and go to sleep together... comforting for everyone. I can remember when my friend died (I know this is not even comparable, but I was hurting so) and we dimmed the lights and it was only like 8pm... and it was quiet and my family was all with me... no one said anything but we were all together....

not sure that is making any sense... just wanted to share.

Please know we are praying
mom to 1/2 dozen

1/17/2005 8:15 PM  

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