5 weeks ...

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;

and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee:

when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned;

neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Isaiah 43:2

We got through another Saturday and we all agreed it was our "best" Saturday since Matthew's accident. Before bedtime, Jayson (15) even told me he thinks now we will be "ok". That was a tremendous step for him, because he is dealing so much with what happened and being apart of trying to save Matthew. I gave him a big hug and told him that God has something big in store for him to allow him to go through all this at such a young age, and if he does not become angry or bitter, God can really use him - maybe to help others who go through such trials. He told me that he had been thinking of that, and maybe God will even have him go into the ministry. That surprised me to hear him say that so seriously. He did end it though, that he has a hard time studying, so he is not sure what capacity of ministry. But he is thinking, and allowing God to work in Him. This is a praise!

In going through all this, my deepest pain besides losing Matthew has been seeing the pain in my children. Oh, they are so tender at the ages they are, and I just pray and pray that this will not harm them but that they will grow and become stronger because of it. A few days ago Benjamin (11) asked how "good" will come out of this. (Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. ). For a little guy, that was such a big question, but again, we can see how God is stirring their hearts. We talked about how if just one person comes to know the Lord because of Matthew's death, that is worth it for eternity. We also talked about people reading our webpage, and it might show parents to talk to their children and prevent another tragic death like Matthew's. Yes, good can come out of this, though we might not see or understand it for quite some time.

After this discussion we got a very nice card and letter from a couple from our church who have young children, and told us that their 4 year old daughter asked a lot of questions after being at Matthew's funeral visitation and prayed and asked Jesus to be in her life. The angels rejoiced! I hope Matthew knows too!

Yesterday I had two friends come to visit from out of state. One was my Sunday School teacher from my teen years who came from Milwaukee. What a delight that was, and encouragement. Then another friend who moved to Tennessee almost a year ago, came home to meet her first grandchild, and came to visit me. We have been good friends for many years, and so we were able to talk more about Matthew and I shared our scrapbook of Matthew with her. I am so thankful for caring, reaching out friends.

Norm worked on the bathroom more today. It's such a big project as wires have to be moved, heat ducts & water lines. He has it more planned out now where things are going to go. He is very patient with this kind of thing. The boys are still all sleeping upstairs. In someways this has been very good, as we all go to bed at the same time, instead of the boys going downstairs and goofing around for an hour plus and then going to sleep. We have just had a lot more family time together til "lights out" and sharing time. More good.

We got all the kids out today as a family which was good for them and I think they enjoyed getting out. We went to one of our favorite stores - GW Boutique (Good Will) :) Every so often though one of the kids would pick up something and say "Matthew would have loved this!" As I see we are moving forward, he is not far from our hearts and thoughts.

So, we got through another day - a good day, which we are thankful for. We know there will certainly be the ups and downs. Monday we are going to try to get back into the full swing of school. We have only done a little bit since Matthew's death, but we need to get more of a schedule going. Monday's were always the days I worked specifically on Stephen and Matthew's work - caught up with their corrections, gave new assignments and wrote things down in my planning book. This will be different. I still have our chore schedule to change - still has Matthew's name on it. It's just been hard to make some of these "official changes" in taking his name out of things, but we will get there.

Thank you for your continued prayers, e-mails and comments here. I do read them all, and it means so much to know so many are praying. You continue to uplift us - THANK YOU.

~~Loni