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Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Friday, January 14, 2005

"Dude . . ." & memories

We are still slowly working on the bathroom downstairs. Last night I went through more of Matthew’s things in his bedroom. He was a sentimental person who kept everything, from the little weights that went on the bottom of the balloons we let go on Angela’s birthday, to all the ribbons from Awana and summer Bible Blast (vacation Bible school). He had pictures too he kept, many of his little sisters, and little notes he had written, including one to God for Angela. I see so much more his caring heart as I go through these things.


He also had this picture, one of his bed. As of this date, we have not taken his bed down yet. Oh, that will be a heart wrenching thing. Another finality. In this picture it shows his shelf which he put up himself. He loved caps, and wanted to display those. His collection of the State Quarters is on the one board. He picked out that print for his pillowcase which I made him. To only be able to go to that bed and pull the covers back and wake him up – just one more time.

He taught Bethany (now 19 months) to call him "Dude". Once when we visited him at the store he worked at, and she all of a sudden caught sight of him, she ran up to him saying "Dude!" I could see the delight on Matthew’s face. I was just told that a week or so before Matthew died, one of the girls took Bethany down to wake up Matthew. They set her up on his bed, she pulled back the covers and quietly said, "Dude? Dude?". He woke up, with a big smile and said "DUDE!" back. Every once and while now, Bethany will put her hands out and say "Dude?" - like where did he go. He is in heaven and we will see him in a moment, compared to eternity.

Please continue praying for our nights. Even with taking something to help me sleep, it takes me hours to fall asleep, and several of the children are having a hard time sleeping as well. Last night I started screaming Matthew's name while I was dreaming. Most of the kids came running into the bedroom. I guess it shook up everyone. Norm did not even want to go to work. So much of this yet does not seem real, that he is really gone - and we will wake up and find things back to "normal".

~~Loni



5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Loni & family,
Sitting here... crying. I just could not hold back the tears when you told of Bethany and Matthew. Our Wesley is 18 months and loves his older siblings. My heart breaks for you. PLEASE PLEASE know I am praying.
When I wake during the night I pray for you (and others too) that you would sleep and for your strength. I do not have words but want you to know I care and hurt for you. Today is one year ago my friend and her baby went to be with Jesus. I still ask Why. Your words helped me. Praying for all of you.....
in His love,
Teena Price mom of 1/2 dozen

1/15/2005 11:39 PM  
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