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Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Monday, January 17, 2005

More adjustments . . . .

Just when we think things might settle down, we have new adjustments and things to deal with. Stephen & Jayson are doing ok - but very, very sore. Stephen's jaw hurts quite a bit, and discovered some back chipped teeth. His knees are still sore but seem a little better today, though he and Jayson are taking a lot of ibruprofen. Stephen has had a nasty head and neckache. Jayson's shoulders and back hurt and he gets suddent shoots of pain. The hardest part is just seeing them go through MORE pain - both physical and emotional. Last night when we were in ER and Stephen was kind of sleepy and closing his eyes, yet he was talking to me, and he said that he really feels that since Matthew's death he's been closer to God, and has more of a desire to read the Bible on a consistant basis, he feels too that satan is trying harder to get him. Losing the truck is a big disappointment for Stephen because he saved for 2 years to get this, and now it's gone. We keep telling him it's just a "material thing" and you are ALIVE and ok, and we can eventually get another truck, but it's still a low for him. He just shook his head, and says - first my brother, then this bad accident, lose my truck - what's next. I totally understand. I've asked similar questions. And it seems like so much to happen in 5 weeks.

We just never know with our children. They are on loan to us, but I for one now wants to hold on to them a lot harder. I tease them that I am going to wrap the all in bubble wrap and never let them leave the house. But, Stephen did go to a Bible Study tonight. It was hard to let him go, but to see his desire to want to learn and grow, I cannot stop that. (But I am watching the clock too - he should be back by now - the nervous mom in me).

We have had questions about how this is coming out expense wise with the accident. Our car insurance will pay for all the medical bills except for a $300 deductible. The truck had to be towed, and kept overnight and it suppose to be towed back to our house tomorrow, and that will be $400. Stephen is taking probably this week off from work - not sure if he will attempt to go to his automotive class or not as there is a lot of moving around and going under cars, etc. We have some money set asside from that which was given to us to help us with remodeling the bathroom/bedroom, and that is how we will pay for some of these extra expenses right now. We don't want to go into debt. We know it will work out. As mentioned in a previous post here, we have a page with needs that is especially for the remodelling we need to do since Matthew's accident/death.

I started writing this in the afternoon, and after numerous interruptions, a wonderful dinner delivered by our pastor's family and a few other visitors, I am back to finish this off. We have had a lot of phone calls and e-mails today. Thank you for praying. Maybe with all that happened it has helped us to refocus a bit on what we do have - not that we are forgetting Matthew, or hurting less, but helping us to focus a lot more on what we really need to do for our children and the training they can get NOW. We don't know what the next hour or day will hold. We thank our Heavenly Father that Stephen and Jayson's loan to us has continued, and we have just been reminded a little more of the awesome responsibility we still have for 9 living, healthy children in this home. We are truly blessed.

Please continue to pray, as we heal in many different ways. We "may" attempt school tomorrow (it was a sick day for all of us today) but pray that we can start to get our minds into more of a routine, and towards things that have to be done. Thank you friends.

~~Loni

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