Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Thursday, March 10, 2005

We Struck WATER!

Our remodeling is coming along. When we have men here helping Norm, many times it's three things going at once - bathroom, bedroom, hallway, Stephen's room, etc. So, it's hard to see any one task done, but we are getting there. Most of the drywall is up in the bathroom (drop ceiling not started), and Norm got the bathroom sink/cabinet in tonight, and got the water hooked up to it, and IT WORKS! At first one of the new plumbing pieces that was in the cabinet leaked bad. Norm took it out and found a hairline crack.

Here's a picture of the start of our bathroom.

The view you are seeing is as we walk into the bathroom. Next to the sink is where a stackable washer/dryer will go, which is a gift we got for Christmas. Above the sink will be a mirrored medicine cabinet that will have to be on hinges so Norm can get at the piping there. Along the wall to the left of the cabinet will be a small shelf and mirror to hold curling iron, combs, hairdryer, etc. We are getting there. I think around the cabinet will be tiling on the wall. A friend is tiling the floors and suggested that, so we might do that as well.

We are still trying to get over this horrible respitory flu here. Jessica (8, our daughter with heart problems) has been sick the last couple of days and finally seemed a little perkier tonight and enjoyed the grilled cheese sandwiches that Norm made tonight. The three youngest are still quite congested and taking LONG naps and there is still very much a quietness around the house. If Bethany (20 months) walks around, she will for a short time, and then find me, and lay her head down on my lap or motion for me to pick her up. She has started a something the last several weeks where she has a pacifier in her mouth and holding at least one. Now it's not just finding ONE pacifier when she goes to bed, it's TWO! But, I think all started a couple weeks ago when we did a search for "plugs" to see who could find the most, and then one of the kids tied them all together and gave it to Bethany. She LOVED it! Spoiled?!?!?

Jayson went "back to work" today. The last several years Jayson and Matthew worked at a greenhouse for some friends of ours. It was generally Matthew & Jayson together. At first after Matthew died, Jayson said he could not do it. But by the time it came around, he was able. He was working with another homeschooled, Christian boy that we know quite well, and it sounds like the two of them worked together well. We are thankful for this, and the steps forward.

Today seemed to hit Norm harder with Matthew gone. Late this afternoon he brought up this toolbox from downstairs. Norm made this when he was in high school. A couple of years ago he gave it to Matthew, and Matthew thought it was so neat to have dad's old toolbox. Matthew was not really mechanically or "fix-it" inclined, but he had some tools in it, and kept this put away. It was his treasure.

Now this rusty lookin' toolbox is Norm's treasure. It brought tears to his eyes, knowing it meant something to Matthew. Tonight Norm said something again about Matthew's Chocolate Lab looking for Matthew. It seems every once and while, yet, she will go looking around for him, and then stays by Norm. She just does not seem "settled". We aren't quite yet either.

Tonight Norm received the following e-mail and it just came at the right time and touched him emensely. It was neat to see when he was having a rougher day, how God used a person we don't even know to send this to him.

Hello friend,
There are those burdens we are able to share and then those we will carry alone. What must be so difficult for you is that the one you are carrying alone is the same one you share carrying for your children.
May I say that the pursuit of understanding what has happened is an act of futility. Understanding is never the lesson of the trial but rather the resolution of your faith. It will take a real priest of his home to provide the leadership that will mold the mindsets of siblings involved. You must be one tremendous man for God to count you worthy of exemplifying this kind of faith.
You will be able to liken this experiance to the wake of a boat traveling along the shoreline. The first impact always crashes against the shore. There will continue to be other waves of greif but as time goes one each one will be a little softer and further apart. The end result will be a confession of faith that "it is well with my soul".
I have attatched a poem given to me in an hour of my grief. Perhaps it will provide something for you.

in loving kindness,

a fellow so-journer

How shall the morning bid the sound of reveille to be heard
when pangs of regrets rehearsed their lines through the watches of my night?

Could it possibly be my plight in life when motives were sincere to pay the price of recklessness that selfishly perseveres?

Can one’s loyalty be accountable to bear the shame of others, when caring is the only charge that conceivably was committed?

Dare I oppose a world beyond that I cannot understand, or feel that I could lodge protest against divine command?

There is no crimson in these veins or forces of remission that would ever stand in place for a man or his indiscretions.

Nobility is not the great reward of the fellowship of his suffering, but ugly scars like the one’s He wore then and for all time coming.

So this becomes my course of action while troubled by this burden, to know in the eternal scheme of things it is He who’s really hurting.

It is not about me at all, or requesting God’s attention, yet still blessed to have the love of God and the right of intercession.


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