16 Weeks - Baby forgot his name

Tonight the kids were showing Bethany ("baby", 23 months) the individual pictures we have up of all the kids in our hallway. She could name them all - but Matthew. She just would be silent, and stare. Then the kids told her his name, and when she'd get to his picture again, she did say "Mash-u" in a whisper. The kids brought her to me, with one of Matthew's pictures, to show me. I think it bothered them too. She looked at his picture, and then at me, like she had confussion about it. I said "Matthew - he went bye-bye". She said "bye-bye" - and then said his name in a whisper. Kind of stabbed at the heart tonight. She won't remember him herself - just through our memories and showing her pictures. He adored her. This is when the ache really comes back.

I "met" a new friend today, a woman that has been e-mailing me that lives in the area that heard about Matthew. When Matthew was working at the variety store, he waited on her several times, and then she heard about him, and we've "talked" through e-mails. She lost a daughter in a car accident several years ago. Today Norm & I were at GoodWill, and a lady came up to me and asked me my name. I told her and she said she thought so, and told me her name. We immediately gave each other a hug. We share some of different things we are going through. She was kind and asked each Norm & I how we are doing. She has an empty home, and I am sure her days have been very difficult in the quietness, and so have appreciated her encouraging e-mails. She said she reads this blog too - I am glad I finally got to meet you, Linda. {{{ hugs }}}

Stephen got the engine out of the "crashed" truck and was able to finally move the truck into the back area of our property so we don't have the continual reminder of the accident, which seems to just associate with that 5 week period of time with Matthew's death and the truck accident. He has next week off from his auto class, but after that he can take his "new truck" into class with the engine and work on it there with all the tools the class has. I am so thankful he is able to keep busy. He is going to be 18 on April 8th. Hard for me to believe!

We lose an hour of sleep tonight with Daylight Savings, so I really should end this now, before my ramblings continue on and on!