Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Family Update . . .

I think of where we were a year ago, and things are much better, though our hearts still get that pang often. It's just not the overwhelmingness of despair at this point and not a fog. I do wish we'd either get more sunshine or snow to brighten things up a bit here. It's been just above freezing, so everything has melted and is muddy, brown and drab. The sun peeked out for a few minutes today, but that is it.

There's still tough moments, and probably the kids show it more, especially the younger ones. Jessica is our one that has good dreams of Matthew, which are neat, yet, make her miss him more. Melody will just break down and cry from the deep depths of herself, which seems too much pain for a little 6 year old. One of our girls still has problems taking a shower - as she thinks of the screams when she was in the shower, so this is something we just keep working with. Several do not like to go downstairs alone. And there's still the lingering questions we will probably have 50 years from now of, "why".

Jessica is our daughter with heart problems, and she seems to be having more aches and pains - in her chest but also just her bones in general. She is very petite for her age. She is noticing more now how much smaller she is than others her age, and it bothers her - and even moreso if someone teases her about being short and/or skinny. She also realizes more of her limitations - her restrictions and ours. She knows at AWANA when she has run enough. She can't play things like dodge ball or football. This past week our kids were outside playing football and she ended up falling and getting the wind knocked out of her - which scared her AND us. We had to restrict the football, so it's really hard for her, because she wants to do these things with her siblings. With roller skating, and biking, it's easier, because she can wear a helmet and be more "normal". But the chest pains bother us. Her next cardiology appt. is not until March but we are going to try to get her in sooner. We think she also may have a problem with heartburn. We'd like to ignore this all, but we know eventually, she will need surgery again. It's hard to even think of.

A week ago she told us at night she's even afraid of dying, and lays awake "listening" to her heart. She has an artificial man-made mitral valve in her heart, and it makes a "click" sound. If you are next to her and it's real quiet, you can hear it. She knows without a doubt she will go to heaven, but her unselfish fear is her sisters or daddy or I finding her gone in bed in the morning. When she shared this with me, it broke my heart, to think a 9 year old has to even think these thoughts. Ohhh . . . I don't even want my thoughts to go any further here . . .

Where were you when things began to unfold with the West Virginia coal miners? I had gotten an e-mail shortly after midnight with the heading saying "Miracle for 12 of the miners". I told Norm and we turned to CNN and watched the rejoicing, singing, tears, and then the woman with 2 children going to one of the reporters and saying 11 were actually dead. I thought at first this woman was making something up for national attention. It was unbelieveable. But, again, God allows these for some reason to happen. One of the miners that died, Jackie Weaver, was a believer, and would always write "Jesus saves" in the coal dust of his mine car as he and colleagues descended into the mine. The family planned to family planned to bury him next to his son, who died as a child about 20 years ago in a motorcycle accident. His wife said "He was a Christian, so I am not worried. . . I know I'll see him again . . . Eternity is forever. Our time here is just a vapor
." The minister for this funeral service urged worshippers not to look for someone to blame. Instead, worshippers should imagine they had only 10 hours to live, and write a note about how they would spend those final hours."

As I am typing here, a teddybear hamster in a ball keeps bumping on my feet. A couple of the kids put their money together and got a hamster & supplies this past week. We also have a cat. She is a good mouser. We hope that . . . well, you get the picture. But the kids have had fun with the hamster. If you are considering one, this is a website we found good info from. (Did you know they can breed when they are as young as 28 days old and breed again within 24 hours of having her "pups" and have as many as 20 babies??!!). NOT here!

We rearranged our living room a few weeks ago, and I so love the change. Changes around the house have been very good. Norm was gone for an afternoon, so the kids and I decided to "surprise" him. He usually does not like us doing this - likes things to stay the same, but he admitted a few days later he likes the change. It meant moving our entertainment center, and changing wires all around - which our oldest son did most of. But, it's nice. And it did not cost any money which is the best part of it all!

Norm is working more on our downstairs bedroom - mainly the walk-in closet and my craft closet that we decided to do a few months ago, as an "add-on" from the bedroom into the utility room. So, this will totally change the old boy's room, have a different look and set-up. We are getting more ready for this change. The girls are VERY ready as there is still 5 in one room!

Heidi has been making wonderful desserts lately. She loves to bake. Tonight she made a lemon meringue pie. I don't think "I" have ever attempted to make one, and she did great. It took her over an hour to make it - and of course especially with teen brothers, it took about 6 minutes to disappear! It's been neat to see her do these things. I never cooked my first meal or a dessert until my first summer after college! This does not help trying to lose weight though. You know, I just cannot disappoint her by refusing to eat something she makes! :0)

Well, I've rambled enough. I appreciate those that keep up with us, but most of all who continue to pray for us. Don't stop.