Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Saturday, March 12, 2005

13 Weeks - Poem "Hold Them A Little Closer"

Another week - and we are doing ok. I think we all know we will "make it" yet, there are still the tears and precious memories that make us choke up. It was Benjamin's (11) turn tonight. He knows red was Matthew's favorite color, and says everywhere he looks, there's red. He misses the family time with Matthew - when it seems like we are all together, yet, there's the missing person. He said at times he wishes we could fast forward to the rapture. Both Norm & I understand. Yet, God is not through with us yet . We had a good talk with Benjamin, and he did go to bed with a smile. That is good.

A lady I've known for over 8 years by e-mail only - we have never met in person, but have e-mailed and talked on the phone several times. Her son Benjamin died in 1996. This is a poem she wrote 11 months after he died. She gave me permission to share it, as our hearts now understand hers more, and share the same pain.


I pray you never walk through
The agony I’ve known
I pray that all your little ones
Will stay until they’ve grown.
I pray that you can really hear
My brokenhearted cries
So you will know the anguish
When a child dies.

I pray it makes you hold them
Closer to your breast
And savor every moment
As if it were the best.
For none of us can ever know
How soon they will be gone
And all we’ll have are memories
To hold us in the dawn.

Oh dear and tired mother
Of rambunctious little lambs
Do not grow weary of washing
And helping little hands.
Remember that these precious ones
May not be with us long
And we will have to suffer
Such pain when they are gone.

So when you cry at one more day
Of toys spread on the floor
Think of if they weren’t there
To mess up anymore.
Think of all the precious things
You’ll miss and wish you had
You’ll see those things that irked you so
They weren’t all that bad.

Hold them closer for awhile
And stroke their silky hair
And touch them gently once for me
I wish that I were there.
For as I cry out for my son
Who cannot feel my touch
My heart cries out to tell you all
You can never love too much.

© Copyright 1997 Vickilynn Haycraft
All rights reserved
August 1, 1997
11 months after son Benjamin died


Blogger Luke's Mom said...

Hi Loni,

I hope that you are all recovering from the flu and that your remodel projects are moving along smoothly. Thank you for sharing the poem with your readers, it really helps to have perspective on days that you are so tired and ready for a break.

I read this scripture the other day and thought of you and your family when I read it. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. Psalm 126:5-6 What an awesome promise from the Lord to know that some day you will sing songs of joy.

I'm still praying for Norm to get a job, that you will be able to get back to a reasonable school schedule, that your whole family will be healed from the flu and for you all to have the joy that I spoke of already.

Love in Christ,
Sue Searles

3/13/2005 1:30 AM  

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