Location: MICHIGAN, United States

Thank you for stopping by. It's my hope you find glimpses of my Savior interwoven thru my writings. I am the wife to one husband for over 25 years, a blessed mama to a dozen children, yes each born from me ~ two of which see Jesus face to face & ten at home, all of us yearning to see Jesus someday. We have been home educating for over 18 years with . . . well, another 15 years to go (the youngest is 3, the oldest 23!) I have walked through rejection, to continually learning I am CALLED, LOVED and forever KEPT by God - never, ever to be rejected by Jesus! (Jude 1:1) I've walked through deep sorrow to find that joy does come again, though the night may be long; I've witnessed God orchestrating miracles with my children still beyond my comprehension, & I am seeing new love forming as we begin a new road of older children finding life mates. My life has and is a journey, from the deepest, almost rock bottom pit, to stumbling through my faith and looking towards the ultimate climax of everlasting life in heaven. Will you be joining me here and there? ~ Loni

Sunday, January 23, 2005

One week since boys' accident

Thank you for the many nice notes - but most of all your prayers. We spent a good part of yesterday (Saturday) at some friend's which really helped - just being away, and sweet fellowship. By the time we got to our friends, we got a call that Matthew's bed was already out of the house. I think the antipation of another finality was harder than it actually being done. Once home and seeing the empty space was not as hard as we thought, though, it's more adjustments.

Our oldest son, Stephen (who was in the accident last Sunday) is now back sleeping downstairs since the accident. He decided he needed more peace and quiet to be able to get better sleep and not be woken up by the little ones. Being he does not have the visuals the other ones have of Matthew's death, (he was at work when it all first happened), he is able to deal better with it, and I think in time the other two will be able to go down easier, but we are not pushing it.

Today we had another hard thing happen, especially for our 13 year old twin daughters. Yesterday our Siamese cat went into labor and the girls were so excited to see the kittens born. We allowed them to stay up to watch the kitten be born, but she seemed to labor very long, and the girls fell asleep around 3 a.m. in the morning. I got up around 8 a.m. and found the cat in our bathroom, still pregnant, very bloody, and weak. The girls heard me with her, and got up. We realized something was definitely wrong. To make a long story short, the mother cat died this afternoon. The girls were so heartbroken. Another death. First Matthew - then their Parakeet, and now the cat we have had for several years. They were pretty sad. It's hard to see our children hurting all over again, and having to deal with more. Daddy already said they could get another kitten, so that might help. And we know if God cares about the sparrows - and sees everyone that falls, He cares about all creatures!

We went to church today, the first time since our boys' accident last Sunday. The boys were able to see how far the truck went into the field from the accident. We took pictures of the truck too to church, and our church family rejoiced with us in how much our boys were spared. We are thankful for such a close church family that has been so encouraging to us.

A busy week ahead . . . Stephen is still dealing with some headaches, and still is coughing up some blood from the pneumonia. He may try to go back to his automotive class this week, but needs to be able to get enough sleep. Last week after the accident, he was continually very tired and would take several naps throughout the day. We can tell his energy is picking up some. Monday he has to see the dentist for some back chipped teeth and later in the week he has an orthodonist appointment for TMJ - where is jaw is clicking a lot just opening and shutting his mouth. Stephen has to also get another x-ray near the end of the week to see how his lungs are doing The bruizing is showing more on his lower jaw. We think there still may be some glass stuck in his mouth. Jayson still has an acky back and will get the staples and stiches out later this week. He is one that really wants to keep going and play basketball - and so when he stops to complain and not want to do certain things, we know he must be hurting. So be praying that with all the running with appointments, that all will go well. We have noticed with our younger ones a little more insecurities when I leave. So many stressful things have happened in a short amount of time, and I think though they do not understand it, they don't like it when I leave and just cling to me - which then tears at my heart. I don't do well with the stress of running (rather be home) and then when the little ones are so upset, it can make me get panicy.

So, besides the appointments, I hope that I can start working on the boys' room more and start some painting and refreshing it some for them. We mainly cleaned a lot out, in the past weeks, and sorted through Matthew's things. Sometimes with the busyness, it still seems so impossible that Matthew is gone. But, again, today, looking down the pew at church, there's that empty space. I think this is where it hits me the most, and singing the hymns.

Thank you again for the nice notes, comments and prayers. Please continue as we adjust, grieve, and work through so many things.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Loni & family,

I am so sorry to hear about the girls cat and the kittens. I know their hearts are so tender and are hurting. Please know we are praying. I was just checking before going to bed ... I will be praying. I will pray for your busy week and for the little ones to have a calmness and peace. I know this pulls at your heart. PLEASE know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
In His love,
Teena wife to Billy
mom to 1/2 dozen

1/23/2005 11:31 PM  

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